I’ve been waiting all day for the SAT scores to come out. I was nervous to the extent that I reloaded the CollegeBoard page every 5 minutes for the entire afternoon. When it finally came out, I was disappointed with myself. It wasn’t a super high score, but it had a pretty good percentile – 99. It’s actually a great score as an upcoming junior and an international student. My mom, who sets impossible high expectations for me, was mad as usual. Her criticism is what upsets me the most, more than getting a bad grade. Anything I do ever seems to satisfy her. She wants me to take the SAT again.
I took a walk in the park, praying to God of what I should do. How can I be carefree when I care so much of what my mom thinks? I need to “honor my parents” (Exodus 20:12), and part of that in my opinion is to please them. I was asking God, “I can’t make my parents happy, I already tried my best on this exam…” Then I thought about a chapter I read in “The Purpose-Driven Life“, which is about that the one purpose in life is to please God, make God smile, love and worship Him. I felt a lot better after praying as I walked back home, knowing that I don’t need to be perfect to love God. God wants me to be authentic, to be my real self, to love Him in my own unique way with my talents. It’s my choice to decide between putting God first or my mom’s opinions. Knowing that I have made my decision, I was carefree.